A Revelation

Our cars are used for many things these days. We have our commuter cars that are fuel efficient beaters that get us from A to B to our luxury beasts that exude maximum 'ballerness' to the hyper cars that cruise the strip removing panties as they rev. However, one of the most important parameters for a young man with petrol flowing through his veins and a libido the size of a Rolls Royce Phantom is a car's ability to attract girls

On my drive to work yesterday I passed a Toyota prototype vehicle that was camouflaged and looked much like a tamer version of the $450,000 Lexus super car called the LFA I'm sure you've heard about. As I passed the car kicking myself for not having a camera ready to capture a picture for my readers, I began to wonder:

What is the best car to buy to attract young, beautiful females?

Being the level headed and logical person that I am, I began to determine the return on investment for different vehicles I was interested in.

Porsche Carrera GT - Cost: $414,800
You get a bad ass car that can pull 1.5 lateral g's and will cost you $50k a year at minimum to maintain, not to mention you'll probably put it into a wall since the clutch is a digital device - on or off.
Chick Magnetism: 9 (out of 10)
Return on Investment: Poor

Bugatti Veyron - Cost  $1.2 million
At 1001 bhp you'll probably never be able to get out of this car without a raging stiffie so I hope your dates don't mind just staying in the car for a few minutes once you park. On top of that, if you peel out in this puppy a new set of tires costs 7 grand to mount as you have to send the wheels to France to be mounted and a new set of Michelin rubber will be about $25,000. Ouch.
Chick Magnetism: 10 (out of 10)
Return on Investment: Poor

At this point I've decided to let you in on an idea so epically magnificent that I feel bad even giving away my new unfair advantage since this morning I purchased the absolute perfect chick magnet.

Ladies and gentlemen, a fire truck.

1975 Mack RD 686S Cost $3,995
At a whopping 285hp this bad boy is sure to dissolve female pants without a second glance. On top of that it pumps out over 1000 gallons per minute of water which means you can fill a pool faster than a Veyron will go through a set of tires.
Chick Magnetism: 14
Return on Investment: Exemplary


What? No? Doesn't do it for you? Hear me out...

What chick do you know that doesn't have a firefighter fantasy? The list is short. You buy a truck that you probably don't even need to drive and since the ladies will flock to you if you have it parked outside the maintenance would be almost nonexistent. Plus, now you'll have a valid explanation for that pole you have installed in your living room and the dirt on your face which is really from not showering since last week but serves as away to tell these women about the multiple children you saved from burning buildings in recent memory. Maybe I should copyright this idea.